My first appointment with the NGS felt like an interrogation

The person I met with introduced herself but did not say what her profession was. To be honest I didn't want to rock the boat, so I didn't ask. She had my notes from my GP which I had never been told were being forwarded to the NGS, so I don't understand how that was allowed. I had brought up to my GP that I might be autistic, which has since been confirmed, so now the NGS know that too. I’m hoping that won't impact my care, but after seeing how others have been treated, I'm not too optimistic about it.  They also know I'm non binary now, as my GP had told them. I had always thought the referral was just “here's my patient” and kind of a brief description of me, but she had my whole medical history since birth basically. No one ever asked if I was ok with that.

As a result, we spent a long time discussing my bullying from primary and then isolation in secondary school. It opened up a lot of stuff that I'd kind of hoped I had closed, so after the three and a half hour appointment, I was feeling pretty low.

I was in CAMHS and she asked for access to my notes from them, and she was not impressed when I refused. She also wanted to know if my family was on board with my transition or not.

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I monitor myself online quite heavily as I am worried if I say something even slightly critical of the NGS that I will not be granted the care I need.

​We discussed sexuality a good bit and my dating history. She didn't ask if I was a virgin in so many words, but it was kind of obvious from the line of questioning that that's what she was trying to establish. We only talked briefly about gender because bullying and sexuality had taken so long and it very much felt like I had to be convincing and prove that I am indeed trans enough to 'deserve care'.

All in all it was not the worst as I have heard much worse stories. I was offered a break after 2 hours. It is still based on an outdated model of care though and not best practice. It very much felt like an interrogation no matter how you try to dress it up.

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